(The old plots have blurred into one in my mind, though apparently they were different. Just like all the old games, Donkey Kong Country Returns features a forgettable storyline revolving around the theft of some fruit. Just focus on the screen and pretend you never did learn that lesson about voting Lib Dem. The illusion would be complete if Cranky Kong didn't look so much like Vince Cable. It's so reminiscent of the original titles you can almost forget this credit crunch nonsense ever happened, and pretend you still live in a world where going to the shops on Sunday is a novelty, saying "Psyche!" is acceptable and a long and successful career lies ahead for Chaka Demus & Pliers. It's simply a new instalment in a classic series. This isn't a HD remake or a franchise reboot or whatever the heck a redux is. Not even being told we've got to pay for the wedding of the seventh richest young millionaire in Britain is enough to cheer us up.īut here's something which might do the trick: Donkey Kong Country Returns. The newspapers are full of stories about how eight-year-olds will soon be charged 15p per times table learned, while Ireland may be forced to solve its financial crisis by auctioning off Enya. Times is 'ard, as we're so often reminded.
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December 2022
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